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Just don’t ask her to talk about it: Stewart lamented that it was none of Ellen’s business when she asked for the sultry deets.

Hey, the woman’s known for her topless Christmases, after all.

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So it was that Stephen Colbert found himself late this afternoon, when news broke that the FBI is investigating Hillary Clinton’s emails … So, even though his show airs tonight, it won’t touch on the story.

Therefore, from his totally fake office, Colbert gave a quick rundown of the breaking story: Apparently, the Feds discovered some Clinton emails in a device used by Anthony Weiner — the estranged husband of Clinton campaign aide Huma Abedin — while investigating Weiner’s recent sexting scandal involving a 15-year-old girl.

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In the world of late-night comedy, a show’s ability to deftly and pointedly respond to events is completely dependent on when those events take place.