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They have to stop thinking in individual terms and start feeling in rapport terms.

Brooks calls this “the enchantment leap”—when “something dry and utilitarian erupts into something passionate, inescapable and devotional.” The algorithmic relies on the measurable, and thus most often depends on the physical, as Brooks points out.

They pay ridiculous amounts of attention to things like looks, which have little bearing on whether a relationship will work. When online daters actually meet, an entirely different mind-set has to kick in.

If they’re going to be open to a real relationship, they have to stop asking where this person rates in comparison to others and start asking, can we lower the boundaries between self and self.

Before you commit to an online dating site you will want to become familiar with the potential pitfalls and dangers of online dating.

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